Longtime readers know one of my favorite things to do around the holidays is catch the Irish flu, lock myself in the office, and play. This is especially my favorite thing when I’m supposed to do grown-up stuff like spend quality time with extended family, or clean my house in prep for people who like to Drop In Unexpectedly During the Holidays.

Through what is probably a legit Christmas miracle, it is somehow acceptable for me to drunkenly yell at my needy husband/children combo pack, “GO AWAY, I’M MAKING SOMETHING FOR THE INTERNET” around this time of year.

Under normal circumstances, my requests for a moment’s privacy receive no such white-glove treatment, even under conditions of me being behind a closed bathroom door.

So last weekend, I made this for you. I figured since I was escaping family obligations, it’d be super fun to make something where you could put me in your pocket and through the glory of ear buds, I could also rescue you from the constant onslaught of holiday get-togethers. For a few minutes anyway. Maybe I’m projecting? But this seems like the year to carry a portable escape hatch to all family functions.

Anyway, please enjoy me reading these four short posts from 2007-2008, at least some of which I’m pretty sure have been gone from the internet for a few years. Also, my Count Drunkula ass slurring words like ‘snuggly’ and ‘mechanisiszzzzzm’, both of which I recorded multiple times, and those are the best quality I got.

ETA: Now available on iTunes for download.