Things I’m dealing with today:
Missing blogs like hell. Fuck Trump and all these real world events for a hot second, I need to go read about someone’s inner thoughts on regular life. Was momentarily excited about certain blog awards coming up, until I discovered the parenting category nominees are full of straight up bullshit like ancestry(dot)com. OMIGOD, HOW IS THAT PARENTING?
Currently struggling to find balance in regards to my inflamed rage re: white males in power making the news these days (FUCKERS! *makes stabby motions, eye twitching*) with the fact I’m married to a white male with his aura of white male power.
Is particularly troublesome when I get stressed about current events and the white male I live with does not immediately see things from my perspective
and I have to ponder whether I married ONE OF THEM? Is he perhaps subtly tearing me down with his sub/conscious oppressive ideologies and ingrained belief in his inherent superiority?! Because he could never love me as much as he loves the status quo?!?!?! Is that why I’m so pissed and he’s merely listening!??!
or if perhaps I am a bit hysterical? I mean, I do love this guy, and when I step back, he’s pretty decent in every which way.
or perhaps I’m totally justifiably pissed and only think I’m hysterical because of internalized sexism, and omgiod, I am part of the problem, and how has my husband not called me on how I have internalized The Man while suppressing my own equal rights, this is a fucking white man’s world and the call is coming from inside the motherfucking house
Usually when I get like this in regards to other topics, my husband swoops in with his reasonable logic and listening skills, and there are hugs involved and I feel better.
Except we’re living in a world where we elected a pussy grabber as president and most men collectively shrugged about it, and I’m still having a hard time reconciling. So in the midst of comforting and safe husband hugs and wanting to believe he’s on my side, there’s this tiny Handmaid’s Tale-esque voice inside my head that wonders if I totally just got duped by the patriarchy.
Then Twitter educates me on all the other minority groups who are all, “Oh, now you’re pissed about injustice? Welcome to the party! Look what’s happening over here! Look what’s been happening all your life that you never cared about before! And that’s just in our country, now come look over here!” The avalanche of how much fucking injustice is going on right now drains me like a femoral artery bleed, and I’m dead in about two minutes. How can you possibly fix anything when you are dead under the avalanche? You can’t, that’s how. But if you are like me, you can still read your twitter feed and be posthumously pissed off as fuck. Like, all day long, as you are supposed to be getting actual work done.
Which is usually when my husband comes in and says in his most logical tones, “Can you do anything about it, Natalie? No? So what good is your pissed off, impotent rage? Go do something useful.”
You can probably imagine how well that’s received.
So here’s some songs, because fuck everything! Also, if you have some mutherfucking blogs about real people doing real shit, link up in comments, even/especially if it’s your own. Link up even if you know I already read it, so some other soul might find it.