(From the Nahm Police Beat Minutes)
Got a ‘disturbing the peace’ call from the manger last night. Specifically, caller complained of “a chick in a Santa suit” sleeping in the crèche. I dunno – sounded kind of sexy to me. However, Mary and Joe were not amused.
At first I thought it might be Robert Downey Jr. But then I remembered it’s not 1996 anymore.
While I was considering an arrest or letting the chick off with a warning, he jumped up and flew off into the night. On retrospect, I’m glad he got away. Looked like he’d been gone over pretty well with a mechanical pencil. Hope he gets the help he needs.
While on the premises, also took a misdemeanor report from one of the wise men. He claimed harassment – the animals would not stop sniffing his butt.
After a few minutes observation, I found his ass-ertations were accurate. When confronted, animals said it smelled like the wise guy was carrying.
Following a patdown, I found a small baggie on his person. Wise man claimed it was Frankincense, and not really his even – a present. He looked a little sweaty when he said it. I’ll take it down to the lab tomorrow and see if his story sticks.
God, how are you this cute? WHAT DO YOU DO?? It’s something in your water, isn’t it?
“Ass-ertations”
You’re so funny.
I want to be reincarnated as your dog, I swear to god.
If you weren’t so damn funny, I would think you need help. Really…I have never laughed so hard in my life.
Oh Anne – thanks!
You always make me laugh: so let me return the favor. Check out Willie Nelson as a wiseman / wiseass. Talk about christmas humor that resin-ates (rather than resonates) with yours.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8HGswf584E
gives new meaning to the concept of a wisecrack.
Oh good Lord! You are one funny lady and your readers are too.
LMAO. That was awesome. What to do if the Frankencrap doesn’t check out? Cuff him and book him. Now I need to find you a mini pair of handcuffs. Has Baby J been bowing at the porcelin throne anymore? That naughty boy…
Oh, how I have missed your blog while I’ve been busy spraying my netherlands with a sitz bottle and nursing a baby piranha 18,000 thousand times a day. I’m so delighted to see Baby J and the creche are back in action this year.
O wow. That Santa may soon need to be stopped. I mean if she’s anything like good ole Rober Downey, rehab might be in order.
Its the right thing to do Anne. Let’s call Dr. Drew.
Prolly throw that wiseman in there wit him. He looks a little shifty.
Heh.
Bethlehem’s Most wanted.
He-heh.