I’m an aunt again*, and Middle’s pepper Rorschach

January 30, 2017

Little Sister had a baby last week! No complications, happy situation, baby boy! Amazing how much life can change in a year (warning for newbies, sad link).

I want to celebrate, but the news is making it hard to generate fun loving smart-assery. Lucky for me, in all the back-n-forth with Little giving birth, I ran across this conversation Middle, Little and I had a while ago that I’d forgotten to blog about. Enjoy!

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Email From: Middle Sister

TO: Me

Subject: pepper rorschach

Middle: Maybe I’m a perv, but this picture was on Amazon and….

Attached image:

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(This is an especially juicy email as Middle is the most proper of the sisters and rarely lowers herself into this kind of discussion. Unlike me and Little, who have no problem swan diving into fart jokes and pepper wieners at the slightest provocation. I can practically hear Middle’s nervous titters in the font of this email.)

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Email From: Me

TO: Middle

Subject: re: pepper rorschach

Me: I don’t get it.

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Trolling Middle RN, saying I don't get why she thinks the super phallic photo of a red pepper is funny. LoL, let's see how far this goes.

— Anne Nahm (@AnneNahm) February 20, 2016

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Email From: Me

TO: Little Sister

Subject: FW: Pepper Rorschach

(Forward of Middle’s original email)

Me: I’m totally trolling Middle and saying I don’t see what’s so funny. Gonna see how far she’ll go explaining it. Wanna join?

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Email From: Little

TO: Me

Subject: re: FW: Pepper Rorschach

Little: Baahahahaha! You make excellent decisions.

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And we have liftoff!!!
MIDDLE: Seriously? Did you open the attachment of the circumcised pepper?

— Anne Nahm (@AnneNahm) February 20, 2016

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Email From: Me

To: Middle, CC: Little

Subject: Really?!

Me: Maybe I’m looking at it wrong. Gonna consult Little. Hey Little, what do you see?

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PS: This pepper looks so much like a wiener it probably violates twitter's TOS.

— Anne Nahm (@AnneNahm) February 20, 2016

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Email From: Little

TO: Middle, CC: Me

Subject: Not sure what *you* see, but…

Little: It looks like a clown nose.

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(A worrisome amount of time passes with no response)

10 minutes and nothing but silence. Am quickly realizing that not feeding the trolls is horrible punishment. COME ON MIDDLE! BITE.

— Anne Nahm (@AnneNahm) February 20, 2016

Eh, maybe I'll go garden.

— Anne Nahm (@AnneNahm) February 20, 2016

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Email from: Middle

TO: Little, CC: Me

Subject: re: Not sure what *you* see, but…

Middle: Yes! Clown nose is exactly what I meant.

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(The length of time it takes to realize a firework is going to be a dud passes)

(I put on my gardening shoes in trollish disappointment)

(The phone rings)

omigod, Middle's just called me: "I had to hear your voice, because I could not tell what you meant by your email. ARE YOU JOKING?

— Anne Nahm (@AnneNahm) February 21, 2016

MIDDLE: You don't see a circumcised penis? I can't believe that's the advert for a pepper tree on Amazon.
(I'm dying so hard, can't talk)

— Anne Nahm (@AnneNahm) February 21, 2016

MIDDLE: Are you laughing at me?!

— Anne Nahm (@AnneNahm) February 21, 2016

ME, dying: Really? A penis? How.. what part? *must hold phone away at this point to mask laughter*

— Anne Nahm (@AnneNahm) February 21, 2016

MIDDLE, daunted: Well, I do see 3X the peen you do. (She has two boys) Don't you see it? Like the big one-eye's looking right at you?

— Anne Nahm (@AnneNahm) February 21, 2016

Can't tweet, falling over.

— Anne Nahm (@AnneNahm) February 21, 2016

I'm in too deep, she's going to kill me when I come clean.

— Anne Nahm (@AnneNahm) February 21, 2016

Gig's up. MIDDLE: Why are you laughing!?
ME: IT'S THE MOST PENISY PENIS TO EVER PENIS.
MIDDLE: OMIGOD, YOU SEE IT?

— Anne Nahm (@AnneNahm) February 21, 2016

MIDDLE: I was starting to think there was something wrong with your husband!

— Anne Nahm (@AnneNahm) February 21, 2016

MIDDLE: THAT WAS AWKWARD, also THANKS FOR MAKING ME THINK ABOUT YOUR GUY'S DONG.

— Anne Nahm (@AnneNahm) February 21, 2016

Thank you, Middle. Without intending it, you are by far the funniest sister in our house.

*Don’t mean this as I wasn’t an aunt to the stillborn baby, but in the way I was already aunt, and now am again.

4 Comments

4 thoughts on I’m an aunt again*, and Middle’s pepper Rorschach

Diedre says:

January 30, 2017 at 5:47 pm

This is the BEST, or should I say the most penisy penis evah! Thanks for the laugh.
jill says:

January 30, 2017 at 6:59 pm

Yay for the new baby! So glad for them.

That picture is awesome, as is the convo.
Sam says:

January 31, 2017 at 1:16 pm

I laughed until I had tears in my eyes. I needed that, thank you. You are the best sister troll ever
bon says:

February 2, 2017 at 11:38 am

SNORT!

I’m an aunt again*, and Middle’s pepper Rorschach

4 thoughts on I’m an aunt again*, and Middle’s pepper Rorschach

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