Spicer yelled this title from the bushes

I have the general sense my life is very boring these days.  Although when I stop and think it through, that’s not entirely true.  It’s just boring compared to the clustertrump of current events.

I’ve gotten into the habit of reading the news/twitter first thing over coffee, like a genuine Old Fart. I guess because I’m discovering nothing beats the 1-2 combo punch of caffeine and horror.  Hope my healthcare covers treatment for the inevitable withdrawal symptoms that come the day I read the news and nothing scares the shit out of me.

Lulz, look at me, all shiny-eyed optimistic! Healthcare!  Days that don’t scare the shit out of me!

Hey remember my last post, when I’d been idly plotting to self-publish that Wattpad book?  And then said I wasn’t going to bore you with details?  HAHAHA, suckers.  But I have news.  Turns out, someone already published my book.  Under their name and a different title.


Which, I dunno, kind of fits the rest of the current milieu, right?  If a thing’s on the internet, who knows who really did it or said it?

Anyway, I had to email Amazon and basically say, ‘Hey, I wrote this, under a different name.  But it’s me, and that’s not me selling it, because I was giving it away for free over at this other place,’  with accompanying links.  I sounded just as cool as you are imagining.

Amazon was quite prompt in responding to my complaint and removing the plagiarized work.  It felt low-level AMAZING to see something on the internet that was utter bullshit, identify it as such, and have someone in authority actually do something to rectify the situation.  A tiny whoo-hoo of empowerment in a stagnant sea of national news crapulence.  But still!  Whoo-hooo!

Also today, I retail therapied some outfits from M0dcloth, which came up when I googled ‘stores like Anthr0pologie’ because Anthr0 is straight up killing me with their open shoulder, no bra wearing, crop top disasters.

I know they must know it’s bad, because they sent me one of those emails all, 20% off if you fill out this survey!  Which I imagine the questions were all, Why don’t you shop here anymore?  What are we doing wrong?!  But they are so wrong lately, I was all, “What the frick am I gonna do with 20% off a bunch of ugly assed clothes?” and so  didn’t take them up.

Annnnnnyway, this led me to M0dcloth.  I’m a little doubtful about quality as the prices were much lower than Anthr0, but also secretly super-psyched hoping items arrive adorable.  If you know the answer, don’t tell me!  I already bought stuff.

Weekend Edition of What My Shoes Did: Hit the park


Shoepicture taken approximately 10 minutes before Middle Kid threw Little Kid’s shoe into a tree WHERE IT STUCK, 10 feet out of reach, on the twiggiest of twigs, and Middle Kid cried out of guilt, Little Kid cried from loss of new shoes, and we all went home, smallest child limping and half barefoot. But! When I took this picture, life was still fine.

Also pictured, the awesome raw tuna salad I ate,


and the amazing faux bull balls under which I ate it.


Didn’t catch that?  WELL HERE YOU GO:


According to those balls, it’s like 90 degrees up there.

Husband also listened to my story of woe and lost shoes and promptly said, “You should have thrown the other shoe in the tree. You’d either knock them both to the ground, or you’d lose the other shoe. But what good is ONE, Natalie?” And I didn’t deck him at all, which is why he treated me to Bull Ball lunch.


Perk You Up

The Bloggess is doing Booksgiving, if you need a book, or want to give a book. Pretty awesome, Jenny!