Oh right! Not everything in the whole universe has been emo sad face over here… despite my continual blogging to the contrary.
Contact with my parents has been a bit like getting food poisoning, and it’s hard to have perspective until it gets barfed up. I’m sure there’s a technical term for that process. Like ‘taking your healthy, basically OK life for hella granted’ ‘serious case of mopestar-itis’ or possibly ‘omigod, get some perspective, you self-absorbed grief monkey.’
So in short order:
I finished DarkWeb, that smutty romantic suspense I wrote on Wattpad. It’s done really well since I completed it – racking up 80,000+ reads in a month’s time!!
And it was chosen as a Featured Story!
And it hit #1 on the What’s Hot List for Mystery/Thriller.
Mostly though, it continues to be the Best Distraction Ever. Kind of pathetically, I’ve discovered I’d rather be paid in internet kudos than actual money, so I have quite delighted in all the stars and comments.
Here’s the blurb:
When the FBI approaches 22 year old Wren Bower to work as an informant, she knows she’ll take the job no matter what. The pay: Time off her jailbird brother’s sentence.
Wren’s assignment: Put herself in the path of enigmatic computer programmer Mark Donahue. The FBI suspects Mark’s the mastermind of DarkWeb, an untraceable website that deals in drugs, weapons, hit men, and human trafficking. But Mark is more than Wren bargained for.
To make matters worse, Mark’s arrogant, dangerous, totally hot younger brother, Davis, starts sniffing out inconsistencies in Wren’s cover story. Can Wren get the FBI what they want before Mark or Davis discover she’s an informant? The only way out is to solve the mystery of DarkWeb.
If you want to read the rest of it, click HERE
OK, I’m done with that now.
Also, you would be so proud of me, because Sam from SamStories emailed me and asked to meet in person, and (after I crawled back out from under my desk where I’d been panicking) (and OK, totally honestly, it took me like two weeks to get up the guts to agree) WE AGREED TO MEET .
Top 4 Surprises About Meeting a Pocket Friend IRL
* Nobody knifed anybody, contrary to my early internet education via Maury Povich of what would certainly happen if I met someone from the internet
*Sam was exactly like she was on the internet – same family, same face, same ridiculous amount of F bombs and hysterical commentary. Not that I was exactly expecting a 20 year old dude or anything, even though pretty much every episode of Catfish did basically promise that was what would happen.
*Chris Hansen didn’t show up and ask me if I’d take a seat and answer a few questions. Which, I dunno why I was worried about it, except sometimes my constant exposure to media gets weirdly mixed with my constant state of anxiety.
*After I met Sam and her kids, (who are completely adorable) I was oddly attached. I guess from the same brain chemicals that bond people who go through a bank robbery or other stressful event. So for like two weeks, I would find myself wondering, “How is Sam right about now? Is she still awesome? Should I email her and check?”
Then I’d feel like a dope, because she is someone I talked to for a couple of hours and will likely never see in person again, so she doesn’t really need me checking up on her. I really need to curb my notions we are bonded or something, right? Is this how stalkers get started? my anxiety wants to know. Are Sam and I practically blood sisters now?, my stalky tendencies would also like to inquire.
Little Sister is preggers! She is due in December, near my birthday, which is totally fitting, since the world does revolve around me. And also, in this case, Little… who’s pregnant.
I went to Kauai, which is basically covered in a carpet of feral chickens. Apparently, a hurricane knocked over all the cages a few decades back, freeing birds across the island. According to a tour guide I spoke with (top notch, sourced reporting here on Anne Nahm), the chickens cross-bred with Kauai’s sacred bird, and so nobody bothers the chicken-sacred bird hybrids. But! If you were like the Hannibal Lecter of amoral eating, you could probably eat free on Kauai for the rest of your natural life because helllllooooo chickens.
Ok, that’s all the happy stuff I can think of. In fact, I may have sprained something in my attempt to be so upbeat. Wheee! As my thanks for hanging in this long, please enjoy this complimentary link to Frazey Ford’s DONE, which you might possibly enjoy (some NSFW lyrics):