{"id":8092,"date":"2020-04-10T11:49:29","date_gmt":"2020-04-10T18:49:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/?p=8092"},"modified":"2020-04-14T13:14:02","modified_gmt":"2020-04-14T20:14:02","slug":"bounce-it-up-and-down-where-the-good-lord-split-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/?p=8092","title":{"rendered":"bounce it up and down where the good Lord split it"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Once again, seems like I was JUST HERE. Yet the time stamp taunts me with accusations of blog abandonment. Get in line, I am abandoning <em>everything<\/em>. Personal grooming! The socially appropriate time frame for returning texts or phone calls! Expression of verbalized language! My brain is a smooth stone, skipping across a placid lake.<\/p>\n<p>Feels quite like constructing myself a cocoon of situational depression. It is made of a weighted blanket snuggly and rainy weather conditions. From it, in 3-6 months, I will emerge a well rested butterfly of natural hair color, eyebrow shape, and boob sag. Your children will keep me in a netted cage and feed me orange slices. I will use the sourdough starter I\u2019ve brought to entertain them with lopsided baked goods.<\/p>\n<p>#<\/p>\n<p>Some things I\u2019ve been considering:<\/p>\n<p>-Indie film makers who were playing around with an apocalypse script right before this are stoked. The whole world is a 12 Monkeys set right now. Empty highways! Abandoned cityscapes! It&#8217;s perfect. A couple cameras and a single actor, you could go bomb diggity. I mean, at least until you got arrested for breaking the Stay At Home order. Then I guess they throw you in jail with all the other infectorinos and your movie takes on another type of apocalyptic setting all together.<\/p>\n<p>-Continuing to call it Good Friday seems like a punch in the butt, Jesus-wise.<\/p>\n<p>#<\/p>\n<p>Lulz<\/p>\n<p><code><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: none; overflow: hidden;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/plugins\/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fneil.kramer%2Fposts%2F10163234537200117&amp;width=500\" width=\"500\" height=\"468\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe><\/code><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>NSFW lyrics:<\/p>\n<p><code><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/K5q8VsGYchc\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/code><\/p>\n<p>A lesser known Secret Lives of Peeps rePeep: <a href=\"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/?p=2023\">Suprizebuttsecks.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Once again, seems like I was JUST HERE. Yet the time stamp taunts me with accusations of blog abandonment. Get in line, I am abandoning everything. Personal grooming! The socially appropriate time frame for returning texts or phone calls! Expression of verbalized language! My brain is a smooth stone, skipping across a placid lake. Feels &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8092","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8092","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8092"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8092\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8137,"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8092\/revisions\/8137"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8092"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8092"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8092"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}