{"id":6750,"date":"2018-01-12T09:19:38","date_gmt":"2018-01-12T16:19:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/?p=6750"},"modified":"2018-01-17T09:30:38","modified_gmt":"2018-01-17T16:30:38","slug":"tahoe-3-of-4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/?p=6750","title":{"rendered":"Tahoe, 3 of 4"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-6751\" src=\"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/5614-300x180.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"180\" srcset=\"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/5614-300x180.jpg 300w, https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/5614-150x90.jpg 150w, https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/5614-768x461.jpg 768w, https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/5614-1024x614.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/5614-2000x1200.jpg 2000w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Christmas Eve, Mom sent us to Northstar, which was pretty swank. Remember the days it was full-on snob appeal to have multiple lift tickets hanging off your jacket? You know, to show how often you went skiing and where? Or maybe this was specific to my \u201890\u2019s Midwest teen skiing experience.<\/p>\n<p>My husband and I were reminiscing on exactly that when the lift passes arrived, bearing no hole punches. We puzzled over this. How to attach them to a zipper? Was the new style to keep them in a pocket, tediously de-gloving to pull them out and show them every time? Ughhhh!<\/p>\n<p>Turns out, you do put the pass in a pocket. Staff scan you with a pricing gun, and read your data through your clothes.<\/p>\n<p>!!!!<\/p>\n<p>Every journey to the lift, \u201c(BEEP) Got you, Ms. Nahm!\u201d or a cheeky, \u201c(BEEP) Hi, Anne!\u201d all the while scanning me like I\u2019m an item at Target. Cool!<\/p>\n<p>Also? Glad I\u2019m done having kids, because I placed my card in a pocket over my ovary. Any eggs coming down that Fallopian tube probably glow in the dark.<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, it\u2019d been twenty years since I last skied, and on the second day (and the first, tbh) I fell a shit ton. It was nice to be risky with my body, to feel athletic and remind myself what I can do. But by the early afternoon, I pulled a Marge:<\/p>\n<p><code><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/GJsecJk2enE?start=23\" width=\"1280\" height=\"720\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/code><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>and wandered around the village at the base of the resort. It was fun to spend the time by myself.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-6752\" src=\"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/245-e1515773826754-300x500.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/245-e1515773826754-300x500.jpg 300w, https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/245-e1515773826754-90x150.jpg 90w, https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/245-e1515773826754-768x1280.jpg 768w, https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/245-e1515773826754-614x1024.jpg 614w, https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/245-e1515773826754.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Also weird to observe people notably wealthier than my norm. I felt a bit outsider-ish with my lack of cosmetic surgery, high end clothes, or nonchalance about buying $10 French Fries or a $20 hotty toddy.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-6753\" src=\"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/53-300x180.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"180\" srcset=\"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/53-300x180.jpg 300w, https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/53-150x90.jpg 150w, https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/53-768x461.jpg 768w, https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/53-1024x614.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/53-2000x1200.jpg 2000w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>#<\/p>\n<p>After we got home, and had dinner, I told Mom I\u2019d been thinking about what she said re: avocado sandwich. She and I talked about the similarities between her situation with Dad, and mine when my kids were babies \u2013 how a caretaker can be bored and exhausted at the same time, and the only people who can relate (other mothers\/dementia caretakers) are often so much in the same boat that although they are good for some sorts of company, a person can also long for a friend who takes you completely away from talk of diapers and sleepless nights.<\/p>\n<p>Mom\u2019s shoulders slumped and she said, \u201cYou always take a day to get acclimated. I should remember that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I was surprised at the idea she\u2019d been nervous around me, waiting for me to talk to her. I don\u2019t know why this was surprising at all in retrospect. It made me a little angry tbh, that <em>I\u2019m<\/em> the person to be scared of in our relationship. Or maybe just angry that I still want to be a kid again, where it\u2019s her job to be confident and warm all the time.<\/p>\n<p>After dinner, I spent one-on-one with Little. She talked about her child who died, and about God, saying, \u201cI feel like I could handle it if God did just about <em>anything<\/em> to me, but I can\u2019t forgive Him for what He did to her. But a friend recently said to me, \u2018Hey, (Baby) isn\u2019t hurting. It\u2019s you that\u2019s still in pain. So maybe it IS between you and God, because you\u2019re the one who still suffers.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I told her I think I\u2019m an atheist now. I didn\u2019t tell her that for me, there\u2019s some intersectionality between God and my growing sense of feminism\/ anger about current events. I\u2019ve spent enough of my life giving people authority they didn\u2019t earn or deserve, but based purely on their standing in society.\u00a0 I haven&#8217;t spent nearly enough of my life questioning why all the rules indicate I should more or less give that person\/deity a pass.\u00a0 Especially with God, I\u2019m increasingly eye-rolly with the idea that if I doubt, the majority of platitudes indicate I\u2019m the one in the relationship who is failing.<\/p>\n<p>Little didn\u2019t feel that way. Telling her felt &#8230; good?\u00a0 More and more, I feel like I\u2019ve lost all my fucks with trying to fit in. I\u2019m just gonna keep being myself. This is the unexpected bonus of being on the outside\u2014what else are they gonna do? Moar Outsidez?<\/p>\n<p><strong>On the upside!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Middle has really made a commitment to get fit and she looks GREAT. She had all new clothes,\u00a0 laughed her ass off the whole vacation, and generally stayed above the fray. It\u2019s weird with sisters, because it\u2019s so exciting when they are doing well, and also gets the competition going. Nobody wants to be the least-do-well sister, even while we want good outcomes for each other.<\/p>\n<p>Being around Middle\u2019s and Little\u2019s babies and toddlers, I was SO HAPPY to have older kids. No naptimes! No inevitable meltdowns! It was definitely nice to be close to younger children,\u00a0 so as to remember that time of life (Endless giggles! Playing chase!), without having to ever re-live it.<\/p>\n<p>I forget which night we did the grown-up\u2019s White Elephant. Our rules are you can steal items, so I took this from my BIL. It&#8217;s my mom\u2019s contribution:<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-6754\" src=\"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/20180110_145200-300x180.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"180\" srcset=\"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/20180110_145200-300x180.jpg 300w, https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/20180110_145200-150x90.jpg 150w, https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/20180110_145200-768x461.jpg 768w, https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/20180110_145200-1024x614.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/20180110_145200-2000x1200.jpg 2000w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-6755\" src=\"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/20180110_145213-300x180.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"180\" srcset=\"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/20180110_145213-300x180.jpg 300w, https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/20180110_145213-150x90.jpg 150w, https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/20180110_145213-768x461.jpg 768w, https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/20180110_145213-1024x614.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/annenahm.com\/anneimage\/2018\/01\/20180110_145213-2000x1200.jpg 2000w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Christmas Eve, Mom sent us to Northstar, which was pretty swank. Remember the days it was full-on snob appeal to have multiple lift tickets hanging off your jacket? You know, to show how often you went skiing and where? Or maybe this was specific to my \u201890\u2019s Midwest teen skiing experience. My husband and I &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,35],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6750","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family","category-fight-with-my-mom"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6750","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6750"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6750\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6780,"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6750\/revisions\/6780"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6750"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6750"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6750"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}