Last week, three emails from my mom downloaded into my box, respectively titled, \u201c(Dad\u2019s) metabolic panel for your records,\u201d \u201cthyroid screen\u201d and \u201cA1c.\u201d\u00a0 Each opened to screenshots of Dad\u2019s medical records full of incomprehensible (to me) numbers and abbreviations, copy-pasta\u2019d and cc\u2019d to my sisters and brothers-in-law.<\/p>\n
I did what any rational person would and assumed this meant something terrible had happened.\u00a0 Probably, Mom sent them from the Emergency Room, in real time as soon as the doctors worked on my Dad.<\/p>\n
(All my fearful, worrisome years as a mother of infants* with the accompanying thermometers and baby books, the paranoia about health and growth, the sleepless nights wondering if that cough dignifies a trip to the virus ridden pediatrician\u2019s office —\u00a0 I\u2019d thought I could retire the skill set.\u00a0 Instead, it neatly transferred to worrying about my dad.\u00a0 Which is the most useless thing ever, since 1) I don\u2019t take care of him\u00a0 and 2) his health is declining, so worrying about it is totally useless.)<\/p>\n
I braced myself and called home.\u00a0 When my mom acted totally normal and started talking about planting season, I couldn\u2019t think of what to say or how to change the subject to what I’d called about, because I THOUGHT DAD WAS DEAD seemed kind of awkward.\u00a0 Although I did glean some enlightenment that maybe I should calm the fuck down, take off my hooded robe, and chuck the scythe I seem to be carrying around during all matters Dad related.\u00a0 I mean, how gruesome, right?\u00a0 But this is what life looks like right now.<\/p>\n
\u201cDad woke up with some lucidity,\u201d\u00a0 Mom said when I finally got her around to the emails.\u00a0 \u201cHe came right over to me and demanded I send you girls all his health history.\u00a0 He also told me to send everything we know about his mother\u2019s medical records.\u201d\u00a0 Then, “Those moments are so hard because when he’s his old self, I realize how much I miss him.”<\/p>\n
By the time I call, Dad is already \u2018gone\u2019 again.\u00a0 The next day, Mom sends a treasure trove of medical\u00a0 data about Dad and his mother. It feels like a love letter, like Past Dad came through a portal of time to deliver it.\u00a0 It also feels spooky as hell, a warning written in ms\/Lg ratios and ranges of ulU\/mLs.\u00a0 I can\u2019t shake the suspicion he broke the dementia barrier to warn me, or show me there a way to save myself if I can figure out the puzzle:\u00a0 despite their strong genetic and blood work similarities, my grandmother lived to her 90\u2019s and never got dementia.<\/p>\n
*Khaleesi of Childcare, the unburnt dinner supplier, Queen of the Andals and the First Husband, Breaker of Chains, Mother of Timeout.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Last week, three emails from my mom downloaded into my box, respectively titled, \u201c(Dad\u2019s) metabolic panel for your records,\u201d \u201cthyroid screen\u201d and \u201cA1c.\u201d\u00a0 Each opened to screenshots of Dad\u2019s medical records full of incomprehensible (to me) numbers and abbreviations, copy-pasta\u2019d and cc\u2019d to my sisters and brothers-in-law. I did what any rational person would and …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6326","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dad"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6326","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6326"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6326\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8726,"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6326\/revisions\/8726"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6326"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6326"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6326"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}