Coming out is a thing easier said than done.\u00a0 I mean, not for lack of trying or anything.\u00a0 After a bout of nervous farts and sweaty pits, I decided to \u00a0attend a blogging convention.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m talking endless fantasies of walking into some convention center with the words ANNE NAHM ironed onto my t-shirt, ASK ABOUT MY SECRET IDENTITY on the back.<\/p>\n
I would goosestep into the hordes of my disinterested fellow bloggers, much like one would step off the curb into heavy traffic.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019d either be hit by the city bus of NOBODY CARES, or equally gruesome\u00a0 Mac truck of SOMEBODY ASKS.<\/p>\n
Imagine my disappointment that the heyday of wild blogger conferences is apparently over. \u00a0Have totes missed window of utopian gatherings where I\u2019d meet up with you guys in a bar, and we\u2019d drink martinis, and get some kind of cool swag for being brave enough to show up.<\/p>\n
Also, apparently they haven\u2019t sold iron-on stencils for t-shirts since like 1985.* \u00a0\u00a0Fuck me for having ideas in linear time, right?<\/p>\n
I\u2019m somewhat stewing.\u00a0\u00a0 Probably, if I were not such an identity chicken, and more fully embracing my father\u2019s latest\/last wishes, I would think of a solve immediately.\u00a0 \u00a0But what?\u00a0 I mean, my ANNE NAHM t-shirt seems kind of lame if I\u2019m just wearing it to the grocery store. \u00a0 Guess I could do something like put my legal name up on this blog, but that seems much less than what I want.\u00a0 A name is not any great connection.<\/p>\n
Jennifer Swanktwat! \u00a0…. See? \u00a0Nothing.<\/p>\n
#<\/p>\n
On the family front, there is a whole pant-load of bullshit going on.\u00a0 We are ex communicating a relative.\u00a0 As far as I know, this cutting of ties\/burning of bridges type thing has never happened in our family before.<\/p>\n
On the whole, we are a bunch of Charlie Browns, voicing our disappointments and hurts in melancholy voice-overs and over-exaggerated sighs, less shit-be-on-fire style emotional upheaval.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve been thrashing between self-doubt and the conviction of my decision.\u00a0 Clearly, one cannot extract a family member with surgical precision, cutting them away and leaving the rest of the structure intact. There has been some pretty bad collateral damage, and I\u2019ve caused it.\u00a0 It\u2019s alleviated only by the fact that, right or wrong, at least I won\u2019t have to see this person again.\u00a0 \u00a0Anyway, according to an old Christmas card I happened upon, this scenario is exactly how everyone wishes to start the holiday season.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
*Remember those 80\u2019s \u00a0iron-on huts in the mall, and you could get a sparkly unicorn or bitchin\u2019 Camaro decal ironed onto a shirt?!\u00a0 \u00a0Eight year old me thought a person had to wear the blank shirt, and the giant sticker was ironed onto their chests.\u00a0 Like getting a tattoo, but surely smelling much worse, and indescribably more painful.\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0I was almost sure it would be worth it for one of those Lisa Frank rainbow ponies.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Coming out is a thing easier said than done.\u00a0 I mean, not for lack of trying or anything.\u00a0 After a bout of nervous farts and sweaty pits, I decided to \u00a0attend a blogging convention. I\u2019m talking endless fantasies of walking into some convention center with the words ANNE NAHM ironed onto my t-shirt, ASK ABOUT …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[29,6,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5237","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dad","category-family","category-imcomingout"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5237","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5237"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5237\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5241,"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5237\/revisions\/5241"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5237"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5237"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annenahm.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5237"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}