1. I made a joke about bidets in a text to my sister, and now all my advertisements are about ass cleaning devices. As far as the art of ass cleaning goes, isn’t there like… one type of product they’d be attempting to sell you, two at most Anne? LOL.
1. Some time after Christmas I went out on my back porch to enjoy a steaming mug of coffee and realized someone’s drone was stuck in my tree. The tree right outside our upstairs bedroom window. Nobody’s come to claim said drone, and I now spend my morning back porch
Home Security called twice at 3:57 in the morning to tell me the alarm had been tripped. I assume that’s what they wanted. I didn’t pick up the phone. Because A) The alarm is on an empty haunted house in another state. B) Even if it wasn’t, my distaste for
1. Years ago, a blogger mentioned in passing that only a third of the times she and her husband had sex could possibly lead to conception. What was (were?) the other two-thirds? Because I can think of like… three and a half things. 2. Anal, obvs. Oral. Hand jobs? Was she
TW- 1) homicide adjacent 2) talk of predatory behavior towards minors 3) holiday wishes 1. Am witnessing the real-time nonfiction version of a murder house turning into a haunted house. Standing empty, it’s been broken into three times this year, probably by the same people, because each time they stick