Dad, I'mComingOut, mission impostible

Context

Was inspired by Mom texting Dad’s photo.  Because I bet  pictures are a pretty accessible way for Dad to communicate, right?  Probably worth a whole lot more than a thousand words to a guy who has trouble talking.

So when I had to rush off the phone a few mornings ago (hair appointment) I figured I might as well try it out. Ended up CC’ing my sisters, too, because that photo is too great not to share, amirite?  Flock of Seagulls got nothin’ on me.

PS: Here’s my face.  Ten years later and we finally meet!  Glad I have no make-up on or understanding of how to photoshop myself into non-ghoul status.  I always dreamed it’d go down this way.

Anyway, message:

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But then this happened:

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You guys, I’ve never actually called her Little to her face as 1) she has a damn cool name by birth, and 2) this blog is anonymous, so presumably she doesn’t read it.  But have been sending her snippets of the story I’m working on about Dad, in which I use some blog content.

Up until this text, she hadn’t told me one way or another if she approved of what I’d written.  In fact, total radio silence, which was hella unnerving.  You know that kind of unnerving where half of the torture is telling yourself not to be so neurotic and just chill?  And the other half is being totally neurotic and checking your email a thousand times a day, until it seems like you are drawing spam into your account by the simple act of calling out to The Universe SEND ME SOMETHING PLEASE.   I’m talking cocaine in your coffee levels of anxiety.

No, I suspect you all are probably cooler than this.  But if you ever need info on penis enlargers and discount batteries, you know which freak to call.

And so this!  LITTLE!   Am so bowled over with strange glee.  Feels like my real life and my Anne life are finally coming together, like I’m becoming a real person in both places.  This is now my official favorite text sequence ever.

11 thoughts on Context

  1. I had this great exercise with my counselor recently, where she had me describe the chair I was sitting in. I kept trying to use words like “roomy” or “a little scratchy, to be honest” and she kept saying, no, that’s perspective. What is a truthful observation? It’s grey. It has a fabric covering. I am sitting on it. The lesson being not to rely too much on perspective, because then you write a story, and that story may or may not be true. I have thought about this a lot since then, how I write stories all the time in my head: he doesn’t love me any more. She hates me. I am a disaster and I am never going to get better. Are these true? I do not know. It isn’t always helpful to write stories, unless perhaps they are more the affirmation kind: I am loving, I am worthy. So that is my assvice to you, watch the stories, so you don’t get too spun up and what may or may not be. XOXO

  2. Well, you do sort of resemble Captain Janeway! Very attractive even without makeup!
    More than that, you once wrote that you had had a “very serious career” before having children. I think you look like the kind of person who could have a very serious career. (I don’t think I’m one of those people.) But now you are melding that person with Anne, who is irreverent and no-holds barred. Hello and thank you!

  3. Your dad laughed out loud when he saw the picture! Those moments when they show they are still in there are priceless. You are brilliant for thinking of this.

  4. Love this on so many levels. Also, sadly, I am pretty much in the freak-boat with you in terms of trying not to read into silences and yet…. SILENCES! AAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!

  5. Oh My! You are so pretty! I never thought you would be so pretty. Very happy to have the real face to go with the voice I imagine for you.

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