This is so Much More Annoying Than the Knot in My Panties
The elastic band at the top of my maternity pants has twisted over inside its little cotton pouch. Or should I say, it has twisted in every pair of maternity pants I have ever bought.
I went out of my way and bought expensive pants* this time around because I remembered The Horror! of this happening the last two pregnancies. And yet here the new ones are, gimped the hell up after one washing.
Damn you, big assed rubber band. You were meant to stretch across my belly smoothly and discreetly and we would both pretend I wasn’t actually submitting to the humiliation of wearing pocketless clown pants. Instead, you have become some kind of mobius strip, confounding my every efforts to twist you back.
There have been enough science experiments in my pants already. Fix yourselves immediately or I will burn you on an effing maternity pants pyre and I will do so parading around in my popped elastic maternity underwear, laughing while you burn.
* Ok, expensive for me is from the GAP and actually having a number in the waistband instead of the letters S, M, or L. I was totally glassy eyed at the number component. Do they expect I will only get pregnant in my belly? Oh you silly GAPsters. I will carry baby weight between my thighs until they get big enough to rub together (moreso!) with enough heat to spark a fire. In fact, for this reason, corduroy is strictly off limits for me after the sixth month. Hope that was accounted for in your number system.
PS: Does anyone know how to prevent this or fix it once it has happened? Halp.
31 Responses to “This is so Much More Annoying Than the Knot in My Panties”
Wear mumus. Or sarongs. Or yoga pants. Or just go nude.
I had the same problem when I was pregnant. I never did get around to trying this, but I think it would work. If you have a sewing machine that is.
In a couple places on the waistband sew UP the elastic (not around it) through the fabric. Seems to me that will keep it from twisting inside the pants.
But again, I never did get off my lazy ass to actually try it, so no gaurantees.
Do what Kristine said. I had to do it by hand with mine because…not exactly the sewing type. It worked pretty good just make sure you get the middle of the back and the two sides on the front. Leave the actual sides alone so that they can stretch without tearing the top fabric layer. And try to do the sewing with the back and front of the pants stretched. Good luck!!
If it doesn’t work, call me. I’ve got some nursing bras I’d like to burn for embarassing me at work.
All my maternity clothes resembled that mumu that Homer wore in the episode where he gained so much weight so he could claim it as a disability and work from home. Sorry if that’s not much help. Most of my life is a Simpsons reference.
hmm. if i were the craft mom (or the sewing mom … or pretty much anything but the slug mom that i am), i would have an answer.
but instead, i just have to snicker quietly to myself and say “better you than me!”
Me? I am such a loser-slob, I-don’t give-a-frakk pregnant lady I just let them roll. It’s not like I’m one of those “cute” pregnant ladies annyhoo… Dude, even my NOSE gets puffy when I’m pregs.
Clown pants? The least of my loser-worries.
I never had a problem with that. I think all of my pants came from Motherhood Maternity, so maybe their elastic has super powers? Or maybe I just didn’t notice it and it really did happen.
You could also try a belly band with your non-maternity jeans. I don’t think those were around the last time I was pregnant, but oh how I wish they were.
Sew those fuckers. Three places should do it. With a machine, it’ll take 10 minutes per pair, tops.
*Digs out maternity pants that for some reason are still being kept on a shelf even though there is more likelihood of God Himself coming to smoke cigars in the garage over a game of poker at Halloween than us getting pregnant again*
Well, what do you know? Mine did that too. No solutions, just very, very puzzled that I didn’t notice it before now.
Mine do the same thing. It’s some horrible joke on us huge pregnant women. They know we can’t run them down.
Motherhood sells a new belly panel.. the secret belly(fit).
It is a godsend. No rubberband on top. No weird flip over bump thingie to annyoy the crap out of you.
Your welcome!
The pants that went under the belly did the same for me too. I didn’t think of it before, but you could try to safety pin the elastic in place.
I had a pair of full panel pants (cover the whole belly) – I loved those! They didn’t do annoying flips.
Buy a Bella Band instead. You can wear your old jeans just unzipped. I’m still wearing my regular Gap jeans with my Bella Band at 21 weeks. It rocks.
I just wore yoga pants under the massive belly. But if you spend money, you can be more stylish. For me, it was “meh, I have pants, I’ll live”. I am stylish like that.
that doesnt sound so good, but alas, I have no help for you…I would try the maternity yoga pants though..unless you want to be fancy?
Oh, I HATE that. By my third pregnancy I gave up and wore track pants and yoga pants the whole time.
I am sympathetic! Though I never imagined it like a moebius strip…more like an MC Escher print: http://www.worldofescher.com/gallery/A13L.html
I just gave up the fight and cuss at my pants everyday. I know they are mocking me.
I concur with the ladies who say sew it but I never would’ve been clever enough to remind you to stretch them BEFORE you sew them. Also, you probably can get away with only sewing a half inch or so in 3 different spots. Near the middle in the back and near the top on the front of each hip. I’m going home to sew mine this very afternoon!
I had forgotten all about that clusterfuck of pregnancy.
WHY don’t they tack those things in???
WHY?
Oh yeah, I know how to fix this. You need to get the mad crazy expensive maternity pants that have a big, beige stretchy area that doesn’t have any elastic in it. Uh, it’s kind of hard to describe but they’re made by mimi and they go by the ridiculously stupid name of “secret fit” (gag me). Here’s a link: http://www.mimimaternity.com/Shop_MimiMaternity/SecretFitBelly.asp?website_Id=5&MasterCategory_Id=40
Oh, yes! I remember those days! What am I talking about it, I /still/ have it happen with some of my damned elastic waistband trousers/lounge pants. It’s not just a maternity pants thing, but it was much more predominant in those, I will say that. I never thought about tacking the elastic down by sewing it before. I’ll have to remember that trick when/if I ever have another one. Seems like that’s the most likely fix out there. To fix the ones that have already done it, however, you’d probably have to undo the seam that’s there, take out the elastic, straighten it out, put it back in, sew it in place, and resew the seam.
I had the bella band, but I always felt like my pants were going to fall down if I left them unzipped. And I couldn’t STAND having pants riding under my belly. Again, I felt like they were going to fall off. Despite my ass taking on it’s own zipcode, it still didn’t seem to do the job of holding things up by itself. Sew the waistband down. It will work.
You know that body paint thing where they paint bikinis on Brazilian women at Soccer matches…
THAT’S the new maternity wear craze, trust me.
Except you have to wait for the paint to dry properly before rubbing those thighs.
I have only sympathy, no solutions. Those sewing tricks should work. I’ll have to file that away, just in case.
I wore the gross cotton yoga pants cuz I just couldn’t do the front paneled jeans. Sorry, i am no help!
motherhood maternity makes a really good preggo jean with some kind of miracle belly band that doesn’t have the obnoxious rubber band at the top but somehow still stay up…..seriously. i wish i could remember what they are called dammit. anywho, i wore mine from month 6 to well, i’m still wearing them and my darling is 3 months. i too gained in more than the tummy area. the jeans were only like 25 bucks too, get them.
I didn’t read the comments so I’m sure someone else probably helpfully suggested this, but if you untwist it, you can tack the elastic in a couple places with a whip stitch, and that should be the ounce of prevention.
I get the same damn thing…I even have this happening in a couple of non-preggo skirts. Absolutely hate this!!!! Ha ha ha on the mobius strip. That is sooo true
YOu are too funny.
Karly said Motherhood’s pants don’t do that, but I’m wearing a twisted up pair of theirs now. Washed them twice, and the eleastic is all f’d up. Target jeans did the same thing. If they can invent a pill to give an 80 year old a stiffie, they should be able to make a decent pair of preggo pants. I’m just saying.
AAAARGH- this happened with ALL of my Maternity pants: Motherhood, Thyme, Old Navy. I was going to sew them down, but I never did; instead I just got royally pissed off every time I went to work and the damned things flipped over and slipped under my stretch-marked belly.
On the upside, you could use the fire you light with your thighs to make that pants/scientist pyre…
I think the solution would require sewing, which is not among my vast skill set. Wearing Adidas yoga pants (Supergirls) is, however. I’m pretty much living in the two pairs I own right now. Highly recommend them.
BTW, the WORST jeans for twisting? The Gap’s. You’d think for what you spend on those mofo’s, they could hold it together, right?