recently provided me the link to “Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride”, giving me further clarification on what those nurses were talking about during my brief hospital stay.
She wrote: **My favorite excerpt: “The ride is well known for its ending, where your vehicle collides with an oncoming train and you go to “Hell,” actually a scene in which little devils appear and the room is heated.”**
I thought the grand finale trip to “Hell” had already occurred by the time I packed up and left the hospital. Turns out, the real kicker came Friday, when our pediatrician called to tell us the baby had failed a screener for a rather horrible genetic anomaly and could we take said little one down to draw blood immediately.
It took less than 24 hours to find out that the baby had a false positive, meaning she is perfectly healthy and not destined to take pills every day for the rest of her life (thank you, God). Can I tell you that in those 24 hours, I lost most of the hair on my head and grew some on my back for good measure?
Holy freakin’ cow. I guess I would rather find out the baby had a problem early in her life rather than when, say, she had sustained massive irreparable brain damage (again, thank you God), but that false positive surely shaved a good 6 months of the natural course of my life. See how mommyhood is kicking the living shit out of my Cool Factor, and I’m barely even a week into it? Also? My 3 year old has decided she pretty much hates me. Am strangely happy she does not hate the baby, although she suggested we could also drop the baby off at the hospital when we went to return the breast pump.
At any rate, the relatives have cycled through, and as some have left, new ones are arriving. By Tuesday, either they will all have left or I will have stolen a car and driven to Mexico Thelma & Louise style.