I Like the Night Life, I Love to Boogie, Out with a Dinosaur
My nightmares are out of control this week. Last night, I was chased through an post-apocalyptic-university-campus-cum-jungle by dinosaurs. Angry, angry dinosaurs. With pinchy dagger claws. They stalked me to a defunct football stadium. I ducked into a public bathroom and ended up hiding a baby I had with me inside one of those metal paper towel dispensers. In my dream, I felt pretty clever, like the baby was in a little suit of armor or something. Take that, dinosaurs!
Anyway, pretty soon the dinosaurs found me and I got eviscerated. As they were dragging me out of the stall to eat my guts, I wondered who was going to find the baby inside the paper towel box, and gee, that turned out to be a really stupid place to hide a baby after all. Would anybody come this way and hear crying? Probably not. After all, In a post-apocalyptic-university-campus-cum-jungle setting, why would anyone feel the need to pee indoors? It was horrifying, little paper dispensing metal coffin, and me busy with blood loss and dying and all. Also, the dinosaurs had bad breath.
In the real world, I got a bite guard from the dentist this week, and just in time too. The last two days I have gone stone cold crazy biting on that thing. I guess I’m pretty stressed out. And also, I like going Grrrrr…. and shaking my head and growling and everything. Don’t mess with nite-time Anne, I will tear you up!
I feel like I’m seventeen again, wearing a retainer to bed. It makes me all giggly,and the giggles come out sounding super stupid because I have a big wad of plastic in my mouth. I do my mad dog impression when my husband comes to bed. And although that might sound kind of kinky, I’ve spent every night this week getting chased by zombies, dinosaurs,and tampon wielding leprechauns. I wake up very tired, drooly, and sore as hell from all the teeth grinding and sleep stress. With all that going on, I have no time for sex at all.
12 Responses to “I Like the Night Life, I Love to Boogie, Out with a Dinosaur”
Spooky. Do yourself a favor and do not look any of this up in one of those oh so accurate dream interpretation books. If you want I can do it, and then lie to you.
Sleep tight!
Anne, you’re in luck! I just happened to watch Jurassic Park II tonight. Here’s what worked for hiding from dinosaurs:
1. hollow tree trunk (only for female lead)
2. tree house
3. helicopter flying away from island
What didn’t work:
1. motorhome with tracking devices
2. open grassy field (duh)
3. San Diego (surprisingly)
Good luck tonight.
I remember having crazed dreams like that. However, I’ve progressed to a new level as of last night: OPRAH! I don’t watch the show but several times a year and yet … we were total buds! I got lost in a hospital trying to get to her famous beach side luncheon/concert but luckily ended up running into wait staff that pushed a delish tray of hor’s d’oeuvres at me just as Oprah snuck through the kitchen (as all clever celebrities will) and she was stoked, starved, and decided I was a total genius pal for grabbing special food for her. Weird. Hope someone found the baby in time : (
I always have very vivid dreams. I never feel very well rested afterward. I also have to sleep with a mouth guard, but I just buy the Dentek ones at CVS which you heat in water and mold to your mouth. It is cheaper than the one my dentist would have provided. I am clencher, not a grinder, and I was cracking my teeth. Awesome.
I love having vivid dreams that I remember. I think it is an absolute trip what your mind comes up with.
I’m definitely seeing a bite guard/dinosaur correlation though. Like, if you’d gotten a cast, maybe the mummies would have come for you.
S-
Lol! Good point! Maybe I am the very bitey thing that I am afraid of.
Although now that I think of it, it would be super hard to get away from those mummies with a broken body part. I’d be a gonner for sure!
MidLifeMama – my teeth are cracking too! Makes me feel real bad, like I’m the six million dollar man, and all that money had to be spent on my mouth. No Benz for me.
What in the world are you eating before you go to bed? Sheesh. Are you sure you’re not eating spicy food or too much chocolate? I had a reoccuring dream when I was little of my family being chased by the giant purple blob from the movie and being overtaken one by one until it came to me. Messed with my head my entire youth. Then there are the Dimetap (sp?) dreams. That stuff makes me dream some freaky things, some sexy, some not so much. My dreams have made sense here lately (telling the future ex off, etc.). I like those. I feel vindicated. Maybe you’re stressing because you secretly want another baby…*ducks head and hides behind furniture*.
Your dressed up dinosaur is adorable.
Awwww…. that dinosaur makes me want to have a pet.
I don’t sleep much because I have terrible insomnia, but when I do I always have nightmares.
I feel you on the clenching and nightmares and non-sleeping. Gave up on the biteguard, I take my melatonin before bed (it seems to help with both insomnia and the clenching). Don’t even get me started on the dreams – Porky Pig and Daffy Duck in a canoe in a swamp, and they’re fighting and trying to flip the canoe over upside down. And only they are cartoons, the rest is real-life. And I’m in the canoe too, but I’m like, 6 or something. Love to hear what Freud would have thought of that one
Shit woman, that is some scary stuff! I definitely prefer my kinky girl on girl dreams I’ve been having lately. Seriously. I think my psyche is telling me something.