So after mis-singing the Lady Gaga lyrics for two weeks, I got some weird looks and finally had to google. I bet you are much disappointed to learn she is not screaming “Au Jus bad romance!” towards the end there after the French part, because I know I was. Also, because I would argue: Nothing better describes that icky-in-love feeling than if it came with a side of its own sauce. Not as cool as I thought you were, Lady Gaga. Oh well.
But then, good news! In the midst of my disappointment, I remembered this video, which is tangentially related and makes me feel like I’m not the only one who sings infinitely cooler lyrics when alone in their car.
Anyway! While on Thanksgiving Holiday, during which I was supposed to be reveling in the glory of all my relatives, I was often really back in my dad’s office, gasping for time without all those relatives, surfing the internet, and complaining of vague stomach pains when anyone knocked on the door and asked when I was going to rejoin the festivities. As punishment for this scroogy behavior, I have fallen in love with these shoes, which I found (guess where!?!) on the internet.
They are about $300 more than I would normally spend on shoes. And also? If you look closely, you will see they have ducks on them. Which, as my husband points out, is
- A) expensive,
- B) I’m never dressed up fancy enough to wear those shoes anymore,
- C) If I were to need to dress up fancy enough to wear expensive shoes, would it also be appropriate to have ducks on said shoes?
- D) Really, Anne, although people should have some sort of early warning system to alert them to your personality, do you really want to give them that kind of tactical advantage?
Ok, really, he didn’t say any of those things. I just imagine he would if I could get inside his mind and read it. Instead, he said, “you should get them if you want them” and then started measuring the TV console, because he figures if I get $350 duck heels, he can pretty much blow out the rest of our savings on a flat screen TV and I won’t be able to say jack about it because, hey! I’m wearing clown shoes.
So, of course I’m not going to buy anything now, because it will be so much more satisfying to yell, OMFG, husband! You don’t even watch TV – WTF do you need one so large it would crush all of our children under it if it toppled? And then he gets to yell back, Maybe I would watch TV if it wasn’t being projected out of a tiny bubble!
And omigod, how could I trade that kind of holiday joy for any material item, no matter how cute? I couldn’t, that’s how.
PS: I’m pretty sure that if I did wear the clown shoes and the TV did fall on the kids, I would see it like this:
16 Responses to “Bad Romance”
Whenever I get obsessed with some moderately weird clothing item like this that I am not willing to buy full price, I often console myself that it will go on sale. Just keep an eye on them; I would be shocked if they sold completely out before they end up on clearance!
Glue some rubber ducks onto some Payless heels. Voila!
WTF are those shoes?!
Is Black Friday the new April Fool’s Day?
Those shoes are tragic.
They call those ducklings whimsy, I call them demented GENIUS. And I love Take On Me, and now it is in my head for at least 3 days. Thank you.
Husband needs a new tv for his birthday which is in a week or so. Our tv is big and flat and FUCKING FINE. However, I haven’t been married three times for nothing. So I’m getting new counter tops in the kitchen for Christmas if he gets a new tv.
did dude see these? would it matter? i give the ratings 5 out of 5
and think you need to rethink unducky position
Mallard Heels
Overall Rating: 5 out of 5 5 out of 5
my new favorite shoes!, November 18, 2009
Aesthetic/design: 5 out of 5 5 out of 5
Quality: 5 out of 5 5 out of 5
“these shoes are amazing! they are very high quality and fit true to size. also, i was surprised at how comfortable they are! the mallard head stays up straight (for those of you who are concerned), and the suede is a very dark navy-gray that can be played off as black (depending on the lighting, of course). all in all, i highly recommend them!”
Top 1000 Contributor Top 1000 Contributor
Overall Rating: 5 out of 5 5 out of 5
just ducky!
Aesthetic/design: 5 out of 5 5 out of 5
Quality: 5 out of 5 5 out of 5
Pros: everything
Cons: nothing
“I can’t say enough about these shoes. I liked them when I initially saw them. I mentioned to my husband about what he might think of shoes with ducks on the toes, he said that would be just wrong. After dreaming of these shoes for 2 days I knew they must be mine. My husbands first words were, “those are the best shoes ever!” They are the best shoes ever. The look is very sexy and online does not do them justice. I think one day I will be buried in these, but for now they are cute with skirts, pants, and denim. I find they are true to size and I have been in them all day so far. enjoy”
Top 250 Contributor Top 250 Contributor
Overall Rating: 4 out of 5 4 out of 5
quack, November 6, 2009
Aesthetic/design: 4 out of 5 4 out of 5
Quality: 5 out of 5 5 out of 5
Pros: unusual comfortable
Cons: ankle strap unflattering
“I could not resist these shoes. I can’t wait for the comments… “are those ducks on your shoes?” The are comfortable. I was afraid they would slip off my heels but they stay put. They look cute on but they only thing that I wish was different about this shoe is the ankle strap. A mary jane strap would have been more flattering. I really like these shoe with jeans and those cute little duck peaking out of my cuff. Just like other Chie mihara, get 1/2 size larger that your normal. I own 4 pairs from this brand and they all fit the same way for me.”
Those shoes are awesome! AWESOME!
Where did the Pipe video go? I LOVED that.
Adrienne,
I don’t know if they reach the level of tragedy . I mean, for that, you’d have to have one shoe with the duck, and maybe the other shoe would have a tiny felt hunter, hiding behind a little bush. Or I dunno, shoes with tiny felt hobos, drunk and passed out over the toes.
:^)
Anne Nahm
I have been positively OBSESSED with those duck shoes since I first saw them.
And I know ALL THE REASONS they are not okay.
But I want them BAD BAD BAD.
Oh Anne… fess up, you already BOUGHT the shoes and the second review is yours.
Now I realize that my obsession with these shoes
http://www.zappos.com/naot-footwear-sea-red-pepper-terra-cotta
makes me kinda stodgy in comparison to you and yer ducks. Yup, I can live with that.
Eeeheehee! Those shoes!
My wife thought the part in Lady GaGa’s song that says, “I get him hot, show him what I got” started out, “I get him hard…”
It was fun while it lasted.
Cheers,
Brian
Me too! Except I couldn’t think of anything she could show him that would rhyme. Except ‘nard’.
Anne
LOL! I thought it was “aus jus bad romance” too!! That’s how I found this site.