Here I was in those size 30s two months ago.
And here I am this morning in the same pair.
Of course, after I took that picture, I started breathing again, ate breakfast, and promptly tripped on the spare tire that regrew over my belt loops.
It has been an interesting weight loss journey – this weekend I attended a party, during which this skinny mom sidled up next to me and whispered something about fat people, with this secret-handshake look in her eye, like I’d totally know what a pain in the ass fat people related paraphernalia is for skinny chicks.
I know she was saying it because something else had just happened that probably made her feel real insecure, but all I could do was look at her like she must have had a stroke or something because: hey beanpole, I’m one of those fat people and so I don’t know what it is like to swim in a pool of denim every time I try on a pair of pants. In fact, I’m making this weird face at you from behind three chins even now.
Anyway. Apparently I have passed the secret BMI borderline into the land of normal sized chicks. You’d think I’d be giggling and rolling around on the floor or something. Frankly, I’m a little surprised at my reaction as well. Must be flu remnants sucking all the joy out of everything. Or maybe realizing there was always some secret-handshake eyeball going around, except before I was on the other end. Which makes me want to go back in time and yell, “I am not on your team, bitch! I just happen to have lost some junk out my trunk.”
Which, I should totally remind myself that I react this way the next time I get mopey about not having any mom friends.
26 Responses to “Stuffin the Muffin”
I wish I could relate, but I live in the land where normal-sized = fatty. And now? I shall go and enjoy my croissants with Nutella. WOO!
You so rock. If I had time to stalk any more people, you’d be right up there on my list.
Look’it that, hot mommy! I’ll try not to drool (much).
but all I could do was look at her like she must have had a stroke or something because: hey beanpole, I’m one of those fat people and so I don’t know what it is like to swim in a pool of denim every time I try on a pair of pants. In fact, I’m making this weird face at you from behind three chins even now.
-laughing- You are priceless. I demand you come and live in my pocket (when the family isn’t making their own sets of demands).
OK, now I feel better about my stalkerish comment. At least I didn’t offer/threaten to put you in my pocket! But with my bigass jeans, the pockets would have plenty of room for you! As long as I wasn’t wearing them at the same time.
hey, you look great! your muffin topper is more like a skinny fat-free cornbread now. obviously, your new look is a combination of lots of good healthy food, exercise, and fucking looney tunes rage-ahol when you really want a chocolate bar but won’t let yourself have one. it’s the homicidal mania that *really* burns the calories, no?
as for the skinny bitch who laid the, “oh can you believe these fat chicks!” sarcasm and eyeball roll on you, well. good on you for not snapping her in half and dipping her in the salsa. i admire your restraint.
Then there are the women who are so uncomfortable with your fatness that EVERY TIME they see you they INSIST you’ve lost weight. “You lost weight! You look so good!” even though, no, I’m still wearing that size 14. WTF. Every. Time.
Oh – stuffin the muffin: heh. Rock on.
OMG! THANK-YOU! THANK-YOU! THANK-YOU! You have given me a sliver of hope that my 8 1/2 month pregnant blob of a body may again someday resemble a normal shaped human.
I was prolly the fatty that skinny “I’ve had an eating disorder since I was 5″ was talking about…
Looking good, Quicksdraw.
Jenny
FAT people! GAHHH!
I am so jealous. So, so jealous. I had my third a few months before you and I am NOWHERE near fitting back into my size 8 jeans.
You look awesome.
I’d give you a hug of congrats, but my fat muffin would get in the way.
Gawd I hate skinny chicks. I’m looking at you, Anne.
Okay- not really. I’m just petty and jealous that my ass is still jiggling five minutes after I stop walking and yours apparently fits into a size 30. But whatever.
I think I hear the Ben and Jerry’s calling.
Interesting. I am a small person in both height and width and volume and I’ve never had anyone show me the secret handshake. In fact, sometimes I get a bit annoyed and am waiting for my damn cookie for being so freakin’ small and thin. Turns out, the only cookie you get is dudes at the gym wanting to show you a different way to work your triceps.
You look wonderful.
Stuffin the muffin. Love this!
Hate that secret handshake! Hate it!
Where is your extra skin? Oh lord. I only have two and now with the little one at 18 mo. things are finally getting back to close to nearish around the same area they started out in. You look great!
You are awesome and I am jealous. However, I’ll just keep my current muffin top if the only way to get rid of it is to have the Swine flu o_O
Congrats–you are giving me encouragement to make some changes of my own…again, still loving your writing!!
You look great. My youngest (and only) is now 13 and I’m still supporting the muffin top. Without me what would the skinny gals talk about?
I am rocking a mini muffin top, but it really doesn’t matter – I felt fat even when I didn’t have it. Yeah… I am one of those annoying skinny bitches who are never happy with themselves no matter what… what can I say? It’s a problem. My husband says I have a “fat brain”… I do…*sigh* But for what it’s worth – you look great. And I really mean it, this time.
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Not only did you lose weight, you lost your belly button!
Rock on gal!
You look great in those jeans
You look fabulous!
You are a total hottie.
Your stomach looks great! Go you.
I am beyond impressed and to get an anorexic thinking you’re on the same team … dude, you rock!
I just suck in my roll which thankfully is loose skin at this point (and a few pounds of assimilated Italian chocolate keeping my gut warm these nippy winter months).
So I my I’m-not-fat bubble burst when I went in for a massage a few weeks ago and the woman thought I was pregnant…
unblinking i – it is probably tucked into my pants! O_o.
Woah. You look fantastic. I kinda want to hate you right now but I can’t because I like you so much. Damn this is awkward.