Comments on: Psychological Autopsy of CrankyPants

By: Laura

Laura — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 23:55:06 +0000

You wrote:
“I’m spending my downtime from SAHMing working my ass off to get out of SAHMing, even though the idea of actually not SAHMing breaks my heart and my whole concept of who I am as a mom. I think there’s an acronym for kind of circular SAHMing logic: F.U.C.K.E.D.”

My husband and I just had this conversation last night. Tears may or may not have been involved. My third baby is 18 months old and I’m feeling… conflicted. I want to give her the time that I gave the others, but I’m at the point where I need more than cooking, cleaning and play groups. It is nice to know there are other moms out there experiencing the same emotional tug-of-war. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

By: Leah

Leah — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 12:21:20 +0000

I also had a mom-life crisis when my 3rd child was around 6 months old. I think it’s a form of evolution speeding up or something like that.

By: Stone Fox

Stone Fox — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 01:36:38 +0000

has it occurred to you that maybe your mom just doesn’t have good taste in books? i mean, i know she’s your mom and all, but that doesn’t mean she can’t have crap taste in certain things.

also, i am a mother of three; even on the days where i get sufficient sleep, i still don’t know what the fuck i am doing. i think mostly i am just trying to keep them from drinking lysol or stabbing each other with the steak knives.

By: Susan

Susan — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 08:52:52 +0000

Woke up the other morning with a perfectly brilliant insight for you re moms, creative endeavors, utter self disclosure via said endeavor + no response or negative response. It truly was a concise, not-too-whiny, illuminating essay-ish rant that managed to evaporate in approximately 45 minutes. Haven’t gotten it back yet. Feel for you. Hope you’ve found your ground. Said it before and will say it again: I’d buy your writing in any form. Pay by chapter via e-mail? Absolutely. However, whenever, you MUST let us know. We insist. (gawd, I cannot believe you managed to get this done. bravo!)

By: Shannon

Shannon — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 05:40:02 +0000

I would buy a book written by you for sure! I never leave your blog without a bellyache from laughing. On that note, I awarded you the “I Give Good Blog” award. You can check it out at http://www.livinginthegray.com.

By: adrienne

adrienne — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 02:30:25 +0000

Second vote for Stumbling on Happiness. It’s amazing and blessedly NOT self-help.

By: unblinking i

unblinking i — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 13:57:17 +0000

Anne – I’ve always felt that the moms who felt no pangs of guilt or worry over the job they’ve done raising their children were the ones to worry about. Did any of our parents do perfect jobs raising us? I doubt it. Will we parent our children perfectly – I know I won’t. But I try to get/do better every day.

As far as the book is concerned – maybe your mom says she doesn’t like it because she sees it as a reflection of – something? Maybe she is reacting personally rather that aesthetically.

Get the book out there – shop it around or self publish. I know *I’ll* buy it.

By: Laurie

Laurie — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 12:16:47 +0000

Read this book. It is worth at least two years of therapy: “Stumbling on Happiness” by Daniel Gilbert. It is accessible, well written, funny and on target for most of our lives. It is about why we cannot figure out what will make us happy.

By: Sam

Sam — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 01:05:59 +0000

Does your mom give more feedback than “I hate it”? Do you have another person that you trust that can read it for you? Do YOU think the book is good?

I think you are over thinking EVERYTHING, and quite possibly the timing of book and third child is a coincidence. Or, you’ve reached an age where you know what you want, and it has nothing to do with the third child. Your mom may have reached the same conclusion with the advent of Little, but not BECAUSE of Little, just because of where she was in her life. Does that make sense?

Live your life, yo. Stop fretting about reliving your family of origin and just do the best you can. Listen to your gut, ignore your stupid fucking brain. (Not that you are stupid, but your brain is being a total turdball right now.)

By: bec

bec — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 20:37:54 +0000

Argh, I wish I had some words of wisdom. I’m sitting here coming off a week of fighting tooth and nail with my husband all related to being a working mom to just one 9-month-old. We’ve reached an equilibrium again, but FUCK this stuff is just hard, you know?

I have two “go to” girlfriends when I am just convinced that I’m doing it all wrong and screwing up this little person. One is a SAHM coming from a WOHM house. She’s happy with her decision overall, but will usually console me with the phrase “but keep in mind the additional hours I’m sitting here messing up my own kids.” My other friend is a WOHM mom too and we spend hours consoling each other about how much we’re failing both work and our kids by not really being present for either one.

Bottom line is that being a mother is hard no matter how you slice it. I am simultaneously laughing and tearing up at susan’s comment that “the currency of motherhood is guilt.” If we weren’t feeling guilty, I guess we’d be doing it wrong.

You are an amazing mother and an amazing writer, and a tender soul and seriously funny to boot. It’s what keeps me coming back here and I would love to read any book you have to offer.