Comments for Anne Nahm http://annenahm.com Too Cool for a Tagline Thu, 06 Jun 2013 21:12:36 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 Comment on being embarrassed about being sad about getting what you want is a hard sell by bon http://annenahm.com/?p=5096&cpage=1#comment-22852 bon Thu, 06 Jun 2013 21:12:36 +0000 http://annenahm.com/?p=5096#comment-22852 Frikkity frakkity about your pop. Seriously. I have nothing helpful and frankly it breaks my heart. I am sorry that this has happened to him. As far as getting what you wanted? Dunno.... exactly a month ago we moved in to the most gorgeous house in exactly the town and precisely the neighborhood that we wanted... and I find that I am hella embarrassed about how posh it all is. Embarrassed that my husband has been fairly successful in his profession, and we look like freaking money-bags. Maybe we are. Comparatively. Mostly we have just worked very hard, and saved and were careful and very, very lucky in our timing with the local housing markets. ...and that's a stupid thing to feel shamefaced and apologetic for. I feel that way, nonetheless. I think I get the direction your going. TCT does not define you, but it IS a part of you. Gonna have to find a way to embrace it. I'll let you know if I ever figure it out. Frikkity frakkity about your pop. Seriously. I have nothing helpful and frankly it breaks my heart. I am sorry that this has happened to him.

As far as getting what you wanted? Dunno…. exactly a month ago we moved in to the most gorgeous house in exactly the town and precisely the neighborhood that we wanted… and I find that I am hella embarrassed about how posh it all is.

Embarrassed that my husband has been fairly successful in his profession, and we look like freaking money-bags. Maybe we are. Comparatively. Mostly we have just worked very hard, and saved and were careful and very, very lucky in our timing with the local housing markets.

…and that’s a stupid thing to feel shamefaced and apologetic for. I feel that way, nonetheless. I think I get the direction your going.

TCT does not define you, but it IS a part of you. Gonna have to find a way to embrace it. I’ll let you know if I ever figure it out.

]]> Comment on being embarrassed about being sad about getting what you want is a hard sell by Michele aka MidLyfeMama http://annenahm.com/?p=5096&cpage=1#comment-22835 Michele aka MidLyfeMama Mon, 03 Jun 2013 19:01:24 +0000 http://annenahm.com/?p=5096#comment-22835 A) Your dad: I feel you. My parents live 3000 miles away, and dad has been diagnosed with Parkinsons. Mom is exhausted already. She has gone from someone who could solve any problem to being immobilized by indecision. FUN. B) It is not an uncommon response to success to feel you don't deserve it, and thus feel weird when people ask you about it and are excited for you. If you could, at least every other time someone asked you about it and your brain goes to that twitchy place try to replace that twitchy thought as soon as you can with a mantra of "I DO DESERVE IT. I am good enough" you may find that with time and practice you begin to believe you deserve that the happy thing. That you are good enough. Because you are. You just don't believe it yet. A) Your dad: I feel you. My parents live 3000 miles away, and dad has been diagnosed with Parkinsons. Mom is exhausted already. She has gone from someone who could solve any problem to being immobilized by indecision. FUN.

B) It is not an uncommon response to success to feel you don’t deserve it, and thus feel weird when people ask you about it and are excited for you. If you could, at least every other time someone asked you about it and your brain goes to that twitchy place try to replace that twitchy thought as soon as you can with a mantra of “I DO DESERVE IT. I am good enough” you may find that with time and practice you begin to believe you deserve that the happy thing. That you are good enough. Because you are. You just don’t believe it yet.

]]> Comment on being embarrassed about being sad about getting what you want is a hard sell by shriek house http://annenahm.com/?p=5096&cpage=1#comment-22832 shriek house Fri, 31 May 2013 22:09:31 +0000 http://annenahm.com/?p=5096#comment-22832 Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes... David Bowie said it best, but I'll just add that this is a transition, an adjustment, a BIG EFFING CHANGE and you get a pass. Even though it's TCT, it is new and different and messing with life as you knew it. I hope you feel better soon, however you get there and whatever it takes. xo Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes… David Bowie said it best, but I’ll just add that this is a transition, an adjustment, a BIG EFFING CHANGE and you get a pass. Even though it’s TCT, it is new and different and messing with life as you knew it. I hope you feel better soon, however you get there and whatever it takes. xo

]]> Comment on being embarrassed about being sad about getting what you want is a hard sell by Jess http://annenahm.com/?p=5096&cpage=1#comment-22818 Jess Sun, 26 May 2013 03:57:00 +0000 http://annenahm.com/?p=5096#comment-22818 So I don't know if it helps at all, but I can totally relate to what you're describing. And I agree with everyone else about depression sounding like a contributing factor to the general suckiness of everything but also? I think a lot of people who achieve their dreams probably secretly feel the same way. They're just not brave enough to talk about it. So I don’t know if it helps at all, but I can totally relate to what you’re describing. And I agree with everyone else about depression sounding like a contributing factor to the general suckiness of everything but also? I think a lot of people who achieve their dreams probably secretly feel the same way. They’re just not brave enough to talk about it.

]]> Comment on being embarrassed about being sad about getting what you want is a hard sell by Anne http://annenahm.com/?p=5096&cpage=1#comment-22817 Anne Sat, 25 May 2013 22:52:22 +0000 http://annenahm.com/?p=5096#comment-22817 Dear Em, Your comment made me laugh. Your return address bounced, so I hope you come back by and see I appreciated it. Thank you kindly, Anne Dear Em,

Your comment made me laugh. Your return address bounced, so I hope you come back by and see I appreciated it. Thank you kindly,

Anne

]]> Comment on being embarrassed about being sad about getting what you want is a hard sell by Em http://annenahm.com/?p=5096&cpage=1#comment-22816 Em Sat, 25 May 2013 22:43:12 +0000 http://annenahm.com/?p=5096#comment-22816 George Bernard Shaw said, "There are two great tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it." I think what you're feeling is pretty normal. Also, you might be depressed. George Bernard Shaw said, “There are two great tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart’s desire. The other is to gain it.” I think what you’re feeling is pretty normal. Also, you might be depressed.

]]> Comment on being embarrassed about being sad about getting what you want is a hard sell by Forgotten http://annenahm.com/?p=5096&cpage=1#comment-22812 Forgotten Fri, 24 May 2013 20:51:56 +0000 http://annenahm.com/?p=5096#comment-22812 Anne, I'm so sorry about your dad. I have read your posts the past several months and I have been left with a lump in my throat and no words. I just don't know what to say because it all feels inadequate. This post and your last one hit me like a brick through a window. My dad treats me exactly the same way your dad does. Expecting failure. Completely distances himself from me until he needs me for something. Your discomfort with your newfound fame may have a lot to do with the fact that no one around you expected you to have that fame in the first place. It hurts and it sucks and it's enough to piss you off royally all at the same time. I don't know where I planned to go with this but I want you to know this much. You deserve success. You deserve accolades. You deserve to be recognized for the wonderful things you do and for the magnificent person you are. Do not be embarrassed and don't feel like you have to apologize for doing what you love and making something great out of it. We're proud of you out here on the internets. Friends are the family that you get to choose. Welcome to the family. :) Anne,

I’m so sorry about your dad. I have read your posts the past several months and I have been left with a lump in my throat and no words. I just don’t know what to say because it all feels inadequate.

This post and your last one hit me like a brick through a window. My dad treats me exactly the same way your dad does. Expecting failure. Completely distances himself from me until he needs me for something.

Your discomfort with your newfound fame may have a lot to do with the fact that no one around you expected you to have that fame in the first place. It hurts and it sucks and it’s enough to piss you off royally all at the same time.

I don’t know where I planned to go with this but I want you to know this much. You deserve success. You deserve accolades. You deserve to be recognized for the wonderful things you do and for the magnificent person you are.

Do not be embarrassed and don’t feel like you have to apologize for doing what you love and making something great out of it. We’re proud of you out here on the internets. Friends are the family that you get to choose. Welcome to the family. :)

]]> Comment on being embarrassed about being sad about getting what you want is a hard sell by Not on Fire http://annenahm.com/?p=5096&cpage=1#comment-22811 Not on Fire Fri, 24 May 2013 18:12:06 +0000 http://annenahm.com/?p=5096#comment-22811 I heard a psychologist talk about "destination addiction". The belief that when I get "there", everything will be okay. The problem is either, you are in a state of anticipation because you are not there, or you get there and then need a new destination. I had a crisis when I finally became a parent and everything else in my life was not perfect. I don't know you, or even have any idea about TCT, but maybe this is how it is for you? For me, I had to start focusing on living in this moment. I had to give up being perfect. My path forward was to read books about mindfulness and I went and talked to someone. It is much better for me now. I heard a psychologist talk about “destination addiction”. The belief that when I get “there”, everything will be okay. The problem is either, you are in a state of anticipation because you are not there, or you get there and then need a new destination. I had a crisis when I finally became a parent and everything else in my life was not perfect. I don’t know you, or even have any idea about TCT, but maybe this is how it is for you?

For me, I had to start focusing on living in this moment. I had to give up being perfect. My path forward was to read books about mindfulness and I went and talked to someone. It is much better for me now.

]]> Comment on being embarrassed about being sad about getting what you want is a hard sell by Christine http://annenahm.com/?p=5096&cpage=1#comment-22809 Christine Fri, 24 May 2013 13:58:34 +0000 http://annenahm.com/?p=5096#comment-22809 I think some of what you're feeling is perfectly natural, but it might not hurt to bring your thoughts to a professional and see what they say. Because it seems like it's taking all the fun out of TCT. I'm so sorry about your Dad. My mother is disappearing, disintegrating, removing herself backwards from today, this week, this year... I think some of what you’re feeling is perfectly natural, but it might not hurt to bring your thoughts to a professional and see what they say. Because it seems like it’s taking all the fun out of TCT.

I’m so sorry about your Dad. My mother is disappearing, disintegrating, removing herself backwards from today, this week, this year…

]]> Comment on being embarrassed about being sad about getting what you want is a hard sell by Susan http://annenahm.com/?p=5096&cpage=1#comment-22808 Susan Fri, 24 May 2013 06:36:45 +0000 http://annenahm.com/?p=5096#comment-22808 Hmmmm. Putting myself in (one of) your shoes: my parents are entering their 88th year and my mom beginning to get (and feel) a bit blurry around the edges. And we are all on edge as well - it's scary and upsetting to see these changes and not know what will happen next (and next after that). My FIL had a surprising seizure the other night in our presence in a public setting - calling 911, no clue why it happened or what might come next, was so scary. And these, I think, are nothing compared to your dad's dissembling. It changes everything; a constant thrumming in your heart with implications and ramifications galore. This alone brings anxiety and sorrow front and center. His accomplishments are pointless, given his condition. Doesn't this in some way give your TCT a very different frame? I would also bet a zillion bucks that many many others with TCTs struggle mightily with this truly unanticipated outcome. This dream kept you sane, you somehow managed to plug along and wow, it came true! (wait a minute - you have haters? Eff that envy/noise). I vote therapy, you deserve to explore this multitudinous experience with some assistance. Don't deny your whole self to your immediate family either - they want and need the all-of-you. xoxoxo Hmmmm. Putting myself in (one of) your shoes: my parents are entering their 88th year and my mom beginning to get (and feel) a bit blurry around the edges. And we are all on edge as well – it’s scary and upsetting to see these changes and not know what will happen next (and next after that). My FIL had a surprising seizure the other night in our presence in a public setting – calling 911, no clue why it happened or what might come next, was so scary. And these, I think, are nothing compared to your dad’s dissembling. It changes everything; a constant thrumming in your heart with implications and ramifications galore. This alone brings anxiety and sorrow front and center. His accomplishments are pointless, given his condition. Doesn’t this in some way give your TCT a very different frame? I would also bet a zillion bucks that many many others with TCTs struggle mightily with this truly unanticipated outcome. This dream kept you sane, you somehow managed to plug along and wow, it came true! (wait a minute – you have haters? Eff that envy/noise). I vote therapy, you deserve to explore this multitudinous experience with some assistance. Don’t deny your whole self to your immediate family either – they want and need the all-of-you. xoxoxo

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