ME! the UNIVERSE! and Talia

A couple of kind people have totally made my day by reaching out to make sure I’m OK as we all enter into the gladiator ring style antics of holiday family visits. Thank you! My mom’s only emailing four or five times every few days to make sure we have enough mittens.

Since agreeing to spend the winter holiday with my family, my mind and body have been going in opposite directions. Or maybe the divide is ME! versus THE UNIVERSE. This week from one side:

Monday: Glasses broke.  Still trying to put them on my face, but they hang like a broke-back bird off my face. Is actually a little disturbing.


Tuesday: Went in for minor tooth pain prior.
Walked out with a 3-D scan, minus $250 because insurance doesn’t care to pay for peeking that deeply inside my head.
(Doc sez: “You def need a root canal. Also, there’s something going on in another tooth. Also, hey look at your sinuses! Have you seen an ENT lately? YOU SHOULD.”)
And an appointment for a root canal Thursday.

Tuesday night: Thought it was a good idea to taunt the Universe:

Wednesday: On knees from crazy tooth pain.
Thursday: Root canal!
Friday: Feelin’ fine. HA! Take that universe!

*ducks*

So I’m feeling kinda strongly that while the ME! part of me is bumbling happily along, the UNIVERSE! part of me is full on, ‘Fuck this, I will take all this stress and I will manifest an early death for you, Anne.’ Which I don’t exactly know how to handle, because if anybody should want me to live a little longer, pain free, it should be the fucking body I inhabit.

HOWEVER

The ME! part has totally thrown itself into a new project: Self publishing that story I wrote on Wattpad.

Because I know nothing about self publishing! Because I need a distraction! Because if I set a deadline to publish by April, I can narrow the focus of my whole existence to an area over which I laughably can convince myself I have complete control. Because I need to have something else to think about. Because my dad loudly and angrily accused my mom of yelling over the phone, until she quickly whispered, “I have to go, I’ll talk to you later,” and hung up on me.  FWIW, she’d been speaking in a normal tone.  Because I can’t quite look at the seam where her/our fantasy of a 4 night skiing resort meets the reality that she can no longer… I dunno.  Everything.

Anyway, as promised, anyone who wants to watch me do this publishing thing can. As of now, I’m keeping updates on this page here, but am hoping to get a Talia website up for people who don’t care for FB (or for whenever FB gets sick of my cursing and boots my ass).

My plan is to keep all my private life stuff here, and reserve Talia for writing/publishing experiment. But, I imagine it will still have the adrenaline stoking fear of splat-style disaster that comes with my Anne posts. And of course, the rough draft of DarkWeb is still up on Wattpad for a limited time. Sidebar link if you are interested. Or interested in telling me what a mistake I’m making. Which? Whheeeee! Isn’t that the point?

xo,
Anne