Top Seven Reasons Why Peeps are Evil
Peeps taste like a bag of ass made with ass juice and dingleberry filling.
Also, Peeps are evil.
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Top Seven Reasons Why Peeps are Evil
7. Peeps will invite their boyfriend over while they are supposed to be babysitting.
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6. Peeps will use your bathroom.
And not flush.
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5. All Peeps that die on Good Friday return from the dead Easter Sunday. Jesus Peeps? Hardly. They return as Zombies-Peeps. These Zeeps will hunt you down and eat your brains.
And then, they will steal your eye. And look at you with your own eye.
And if you are pretty, that Zeep will make you their Zitch (Zeep’s bitch). And you will like it, you dirty Zitch, you. But you will never again have good depth perception.
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4. Peeps make it look like an accident.
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3. Peeps wear inappropriate bathing attire on your family vacation. The day after you break down and say something (because for the love of God! A thong made out of rubber bands in front of grandma?!) , Peeps will walk with apparent discomfort. You will assume it is from thong friction burns. But you will be wrong.
2. When you come back from vacation and have your photos developed, you will find this mystery picture. For a moment, you will be confused.
And then you will recognize your own toothbrush in someone’s peephole.
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1. And of course, Peeps peep.
